Follow You Down
by Takada Saiko
Summary: Liz is in over her head, even if she won't admit it. If keeping her injured husband as a prisoner weren't bad enough, someone finding him certainly is. Especially when that someone is Gina Zanetakos. The real question is, why would Tom lie to Gina to protect her after everything that she's done to him? AU starting a month after the S1 finale. Keen2.
1. Part One

She could hear the hacking cough from down the corridor and it made her cringe. Ellie had thrown a fit the last time she had called, telling her that Tom needed a hospital, and if Liz wasn't willing to give him that then no amount of care in _this_ place was going to help him. She had been angry and exaggerating, or at least that's what Elizabeth Keen hoped. With the terrible, pained sounds coming from the holding cell, she was starting to second guess that assessment.

"Did you make sure that he took the meds?" she asked.

Samuel Aleko, for as intimidating as he might look, had proven very easily spooked by Liz's ex husband. He shook his head. "Not going in there. You do it."

Liz rolled her eyes and grabbed the pills from the table, stopping only briefly at the door to gather herself. That was not Tom in there. He wore his face, he spoke with his voice, but he was _not_ her husband. With a that in mind she reached forward and pushed the door open.

He was curled up on the mattress, the thin blanket that she had given him pulled up around his shoulders and his eyes were squeezed shut. Liz stood there for a moment, watching him, until he gave a weak cough and shifted, those familiar eyes staring at her. Slowly they focused on the pills in her hand and he frowned, curling a little tighter into himself without a word.

"You get that that infection will kill you if you don't fight it, right?"

"Doesn't do me any good if I can't keep it down," he answered, his voice raspy and raw sounding.

Liz kept her expression blank. He had always had trouble keeping medication down when he was sick, and likely the food Aleko was bringing him wasn't helping. She moved forward, her boots tapping softly against the metal floor and she saw him wince with each small sound. She had kept her distance, always just beyond where the chains could reach, but it wasn't like he was in any shape to hurt her.

"Go away, Liz," he groused, offering a sad attempt at a glare as she squatted down in front of him.

"Take the medication and I'll be happy to let you suffer in peace," she snapped back.

"I need a hospital."

"You need to take the damn pills, Tom. Then you need to give me a name. When you do, when you hand me Berlin, _then_ we'll talk about getting you out of here."

"I can't talk if I'm dead."

"No you can't, but if you don't talk, I don't have any use for you."

"So you'll just let me die here?" His voice sounded strangely small and Liz had to steel herself against the rush of emotions. If she would or not didn't matter. What mattered was that he needed to believe she would.

"Remember what happened last time you underestimated me?" she asked tightly. "How's the thumb?"

"Killing me is a long way from breaking my thumb, Liz, and you and I both know that."

She opened her mouth to snap back when a gunshot went off somewhere outside the room, followed by a loud crash that could only have been Aleko taking a fall. Liz froze, reaching around for her own gun, and suddenly Tom's fingers were on her knee, gaining her attention. "Hey, don't leave me tied down here. If someone's broken in-"

"Berlin's men are coming for you," she growled. "Why would I let you go so that you could help them?"

"Berlin doesn't give a damn about me. He probably thinks I'm dead. _Everyone_ thinks I'm dead. Whoever comes through that door is going to kill us both unless you give me a chance to fight back."

Liz looked towards the door. No sound had followed the gunshot and the sound of a body dropping to the ground. It wasn't the police or anyone from law enforcement. She would have heard them. Tom could be lying about Berlin. They had extracted him before. Something in his eyes told her he wasn't, though, and she believed him even if she shouldn't. He didn't know who was on the other side of that door, and that made it just as dangerous for him as it was for her. "I swear, if you try anything," she growled.

"Like what? I'm not sure I can even stand," he snapped back, gaze following her hands as she pulled the key out of her pocket.

Liz frowned and used the key to tear through the most recent round of duck tape on his wrists. He flexed his hands, bending them delicately as she reached for the chains around his ankles. This was stupid, she told herself. For all she knew he was going to reach over and snap her neck.

The door opened and Liz spun, gun drawn in a figure she certainly hadn't expected.

"Gina," Tom breathed, relief in his voice.

"You look like hell."

"Hi to you too," he grumbled.

Zanetakos smirked and motioned with her gun. "Drop it, Keen. kick it over."

Tom blinked as if he were surprised. "No, Gina, she's fine. You're not going to shoot her, are you, Liz?"

Liz looked at him like he's lost his mind.

"She shot you, Jacob, and then _this_." The Russian woman motioned to the boat around them.

Tom shook his head. "No, you've got it wrong. Liz was getting me out. See? She has the key in her hand. She was rescuing me."

"She shot you."

"Aleko did," he argued and Liz couldn't understand why. If she shot Gina, he was close enough to kill her and get the key. Even armed, Liz wasn't sure she could take them both on at once. It didn't make sense for him to lie to a woman that was obviously his ally. Possibly more.

"Jacob," Zanetakos sighed and Liz wondered if that was Tom's real name or just the one he had given her.

"Apparently his ticket to a clean record got her throat slit by Berlin," Tom said, motioning for Liz to hand him the key. She shoved it into his hand, not having much of a choice, and resisted the urge to lash out at the way he casually mentioned Meera's murder. He fit the key into the lock and shrugged, that little bit of effort seeming to tire him out. "No clue what he was going to do with me, but this is where I woke up. Liz followed the trail. Gina, put the damn gun away. I owe her my life."

Slowly she lowered her weapon, studying Tom before turning her dark gaze on Liz. "Is that how it happened?"

"That's how it happened," Liz answered coldly.

"Good, then you won't have any problem helping me get him out of here."

"She doesn't need to get any deeper than she already is," Tom answered, his gaze shifting over to her. "She's done enough."

"I can't carry you out of here by myself, Jacob."

"I'm fine."

"Not one of your more believable lies," she murmured, kneeling down next to him and reaching a hand out to his face. It was strange watching another woman touch her husband in such a familiar fashion. Gina turned to look at her. "Let's go."

Liz didn't seem to have much of a choice. She moved to take one of Tom's arms around her shoulders and with Gina, helped lift him up.

He stifled a cry at the movement, his weight sagging dangerously and his head lulled so that it was propped against her shoulder. "I'll keep you safe, Liz," he said in a quiet, tight voice. "I promise."

She tightened her grip on him and didn't dare say anything in return. How he was going to keep her safe in his condition was almost as important of a question in her mind as why he would bother at all.

* * *

It had been an impulsive move. He hadn't expected Gina to bring her along. Liz was supposed to simply walk away from all of this. Her friends were still dead, she still hated him, but at least he would've able to keep her safe one last time. He shouldn't want to after all of this, but he shouldn't have fallen for her to begin with. Nothing about Liz had been planned. Sometimes it didn't even make sense.

Gina had a vehicle waiting and between she and Liz, they got Jacob loaded into the back. He was struggling to stay conscious at that point, the pain and the fever threatening to overwhelm him. He almost didn't notice as Liz slipped in the back with him, putting his head in her lap. "We're good back here," she said.

"Hold onto him."

Jacob looked up, his vision dark around the edges, but he could still see her. He reached up and she caught his hand, the touch hesitant, but more gentle than it had been since everything had come crashing down around them. She was confused, he knew, but he couldn't explain it there. Gina needed to believe him.

"Thank you," he managed, squeezing her hand. "You did save my life."

It wasn't untrue and he saw the conflict flash through her blue eyes. "Just don't let go now," she murmured. She knew. She knew that if he slipped away her life would be in the hands of a woman that hated her.

"Jacob?" Gina called from the front.

"I'm awake."

"Better be."

"Where are we going?" Liz asked.

"Home."

Jacob blinked hard. "Kind of a drive from here."

"Let me worry about that. You just stay alive back there."

Liz's fingers worked their way through his hair in a habit of hers whenever he was sick. He leaned into the touch, his eyes drifting closed. "Gina?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let them hurt her. Promise me."

The fingers in his hair stilled and Liz must have known what he meant. Her. He was asking for her.

Gina sighed from the driver's seat. "Bill's overseas. It'll be a few days before he gets back. Unless she does something to prove you wrong... I trust you, Jake."

He nodded. "Thanks."

"You get to deal with Bill though."

"'kay," he managed, feeling himself sinking.

"Tom?"

 **"Love you," he whispered, the words escaping without permission. He didn't hear her reaction, though, as he slipped under the surface and into sleep.**


	2. Part Two

**Part Two.**

Liz had been shuffled along like a child. Zanetakos hadn't let her call in to let her team know she was alright, but she had at least let her sit with Tom after they had gotten him on a private plane. He hadn't roused again after passing out in the back of the car and Liz was starting to worry she'd let it go too far. She didn't really want him dead, she didn't think. She did want answers, that much she knew, and she couldn't get those if he didn't wake up.

He was burning up by the time that they landed, worse than he had been in the boat, and almost as soon as the engines had been cut Zanetakos was opening the door and motioning over to where Tom was still being held in place by Liz. Several men and women in scrubs entered and she felt a strange sense of terror sweep through her as she tightened her grip on him.

"Keen, they're going to help him."

Liz looked over at the surprisingly calm voice. One of the medics knelt down to speak to her. "Do you know what happened?"

"He took three bullets at close range and he's been kept... I don't think he was ever taken to a hospital," she said quietly, trying to provide the information without screwing up Tom's story.

The medic nodded without another word to her, barking orders at the others. Zanetakos moved to stand next to her once they had moved him. "You look genuinely worried."

"Of course I'm worried," Liz snapped.

"Why? He used you."

She looked up, finding brown eyes staring down at her, curios and studying. "I don't know," she managed. "Maybe... I just hope it wasn't just that."

Zanetakos snorted. "Get up and come with me. I promised him I'd keep you safe here. You try anything, though, and I'll slit your throat myself."

"Where are they taking him?" Liz asked carefully as she followed the other woman to the door.

"The medical facilities. He'll get the treatment you refused him."

"Tom told you: I was trying to get him out."

"First thing you should know about _Tom_ ," Zanetakos said, the name rolling off her tongue sarcastically, "is that he lies whenever he needs to. You're not safe because I believe him. You're safe because I trust him. He wouldn't put us in danger, even for you."

Liz blinked at her. "Who are you people to him? Are you guys... family of some sort?"

She rolled her eyes. "Come on. I may have to babysit you, but you'll need to keep up."

The FBI profiler followed the Russian woman out of the plane and took a look around. She wasn't sure where they were, but it was impressive. It looked like a campus of some sort, with buildings scattered everywhere. What it had been before, Liz couldn't tell, but she followed Zanetakos off of the landing strip and towards one of the buildings that looked like a small medical facility. It reminded her of something Reddington might have had set up somewhere in case of emergencies.

She saw Tom being wheeled back into a room and stopped in her tracks. They were moving away from him. "Can't we wait here?"

"For what?"

"Until we can see him."

"Oh no. You're going into a room with a lock on the outside. I'm not going to let someone like you wander around."

"Like me?" Liz snapped. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Zanetakos took a step forward, everything about her presence dangerous. "If you'd like me to announce your place of employment, I'd give you about ten minutes until someone put a bullet in your head. Probably less, but Jacob likes you, so I'll give you that."

She was a federal agent in what very well might be a den of spies. What the hell was Tom involved in?

Liz straightened her back. "I'm not leaving him now," she said stubbornly.

Zanetakos met her glare and Liz didn't budge. She wouldn't. She needed her answers. That was what she would tell herself, at any rate. It was a lot easier than sifting through the complicated emotions tangled up around the subject of her lying husband that had married her for a job, yet… had protected her even though she had spent the last month torturing him. She didn't want to think on the whys right then. It was already confusing enough.

A smirk crossed the older woman's lips. "I knew he liked you for some reason," she acknowledged. "You're as stubborn as he is. Your fights must have been hellish."

Liz stared for a moment. She was joking. Tom was dying and this woman that trusted him - this woman that Red thought was Tom's lover - was cracking jokes about their fights. Liz couldn't process it. "Where can I wait? I'll stay out of everyone's way."

Zanetakos shook her head, chuckling a little as she motioned for Liz to follow her. There weren't many seats, but the agent settled herself down in one to wait. She glanced over at the blonde to see that she seemed purposefully relaxed, and she thought that maybe she was worried as well. "How do you know him?"

Brown eyes blinked as she turned. "Jacob? We grew up together."

The honest, clear answer was a little surprising.

Zanetakos tilted her head. "I don't get it."

"What?"

"What's so special about you. He's never done this before."

"Done what?"

She snorted and turned back to watch the door Tom had been taken behind. Apparently honesty time was over, however brief it had been, and the two women waited in silence.

* * *

Jacob came to slowly, blinking hard against the drug induced fog that his brain was in. His vision was blurry and no amount of blinking would solve that. Well, his contacts had been old anyway.

He squinted as he tried to gain his bearings. It wasn't a hospital room, but it definitely wasn't the boat either. It was clean, white, and... was definitely a room he had been in more than once as one of the Major's operatives.

Everything came rushing back at once. Gina had found him, and while he was thrilled to be free and finally recovering, he didn't see Liz. Gina had promised to protect her, but if it had been taken out of her hands...

Jacob winced as he reached up and pulled the oxygen piece from his nose, systematically moving down to untangle himself from the various connections that had him tethered to the bed. He pulled himself up, the machinery wailing at him, and had the IV out of his arm when the door came flying open. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Phelps?"

The operative frowned at the doctor as he continued doing what he had been doing before he was interrupted. "I don't have time to lie around in bed, doc."

"I'm so glad you think so. I'll let Bill know that somewhere along the way you picked up a medical degree. I'm sure that'll be useful," the doctor groused. "Lie back down before you undo all my work."

"I can't. There was a woman that-"

"Pretty brunette that Zanetakos won't let anyone close to? Yeah, she's getting coffee. She's been in here from the moment we let her back. You picked the five minute window she walked off during to wake up."

"Dr Maxwell?" Liz called as she entered behind him. She stopped, and Jacob felt a rush of relief sweep through him right up until the point that she started towards him. "What are you doing? Seriously? Get back in bed."

Well, at least some things never changed. He must have had a pretty goofy look on his face because she stopped dead in her tracks, ducking her head a little. He carefully obliged her demand, tucking his long legs back under the sheet. "I just wanted to make sure you were safe," he said softly.

"Yeah, your... friend hasn't let me out of her sight."

Jacob saw Gina lingering by the door, speaking quietly to the doctor and he squinted, trying to see her expression.

"I should just let you stay blind until they release you," Gina grumbled as she moved closer. "Every bit of suffering you've earned."

"Wow, thanks for that," Jacob returned. "My eyesight isn't that bad. I'll live."

"Good for your girlfriend. I'd have had to dump her body if you'd died or something. _You_ get to explain to Bill why there's a fed in his school."

Jacob chuckled. "I have a couple days. We'll be okay." He swallowed hard, looking over at Maxwell. "How much is it going to take to bribe you into letting me get out of medical?"

"You aren't serious."

"Unless Bud's given my room away?"

"You know he hasn't," Gina sighed and Jacob motioned towards her as if she had just given Maxwell the answer he needed.

"See? I have a room. I will go to my room, lay down in my bed that I haven't slept in in… five years? I will be a saint." It wasn't anything he hadn't done before.

"You're also a liar, Jacob Phelps," Dr Maxwell responded.

"You know Gina won't let me wander around."

"I can lock him in," she offered, as if that were helpful at all.

Maxwell chuckled. "McCready's going to kill me if I let you croak."

"He knows how stubborn I am."

"Don't we all?" The doctor shook his head and sighed, looking at both women. "I'll get you both a list of what I have him on, and Gina knows how to reach me if anything goes terribly wrong. His fever has come down enough that he's not in any immediate danger, but he needs rest and a steady dose of the rest of the prescription. If he doesn't take it, he'll be right back in here and I won't be releasing him until he's one-hundred percent clear." Maxwell was glaring at him during the last of his monologue and Jacob offered him a wide grin.

"Best behaviour," he promised.

* * *

She had always known that he disliked hospitals and doctors and anything having to do with it. Apparently the dislike ran much closer to hate than she had ever realized and Liz couldn't quite find her voice to argue how insane it was that he wanted to leave the medical area. Zanetakos tugged her aside before she could start in on it, though, and growled at her to keep her mouth shut. "He's doing it for you."

"What do you mean?"

"The more people that see you, the more questions get asked. You won't leave the medical ward, so he'll take the risk and go with you. Jacob's one of the few operatives that Bill keeps living quarters for. You'll be as safe in there as you can be on the campus."

"Why does Bill let him keep them?"

Gina shrugged. "Officially? Jacob teaches from time to time. He needs a place to stay when he does."

"Unofficially?"

"Ask him," she bit out. "Make yourself useful and help us."

They got him moved without too much trouble. The idiot had already unhooked himself from the monitors and IV drip. It took a bit of coaxing, but Dr Maxwell said that he wouldn't let Tom leave unless it was in a wheelchair. He grumbled the whole way and Liz almost found herself laughing at him. It was just so… Tom. He'd done the same thing the first time he'd tried to get up out of the wheelchair once they were home after the Zamani attack. He'd gone crashing to the floor and Liz had thought she was going to have to take him straight back to the hospital. He was stubborn and determined, and something in her was relieved to see that something she knew about him was real at least.

Thankfully he didn't pull anything quite that drastic this time. He had actually gone fairly quiet by the time they reached the room, or rooms, as it turned out. It was more like a tiny apartment. It was clean and neat, but didn't look like anyone had lived there in some time. Liz supposed no one had, if it was his and he hadn't been there since they'd met.

"I'm fine, Gina," he grumbled and waved her off. "I'm fine. Really. I promise I won't get up and wander around."

"Good, because I don't think Maxwell will take you back now that you've left. You'll have to ask Tawlyer to reach back into his medical training."

Tom made a face. "No."

Zanetakos smiled at him and leaned down, kissing him on the cheek. "Don't die."

"You neither."

Liz watched her leave and turned to find her husband staring at her. "What?"

"So... I probably owe you a few answers that you're not threatening me for."

"Are you saying if I'd asked nicely you would have told me everything?"

He watched her for a minute, as if trying to decide if she were teasing him or not. If she were honest, she wasn't sure. Her emotions had been all over the place since the moment that Gina Zanetakos had barged into the boat. Fear and guilt were a dangerous combination. She swallowed hard and leaned in a little. "Is it…. can we talk in here?"

"Yeah, we're good. Bud doesn't watch his own like he does his enemies."

She nodded, the movement stiff and uncertain. She needed to get it off her chest. She needed answers, but to get those, they needed to be on the same side. She could be the bigger person there. Really, she could. "I… Tom, I don't… I think I let it go too far."

"No kidding." She blinked and he smirked, tilting his head to the side a little. "What? You thought I was just going to be cool with you shooting and torturing me?"

"Of course not," she said quickly, and she felt a rush of irritation threaten to overwhelm her. "Just like I'm not okay with being married for a _job_."

"Not just," Tom admitted softly. He looked away, his gaze a little blurry and she pursed her lips together.

"Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you be honest?"

"I think they've pumped me full of medication. I'm shocked Gina left us alone now that I think about it."

Liz cracked a very small smile and stepped closer, taking a seat on the edge of the bed that he was laid out on. He looked so much like the man she had married. He looked liked him, sounded like him. There were differences, certainly, but she couldn't shake the feeling that the angry, biting words he'd used against her in the boat were some sort of act. She had to know. "Who are you?"

He loosed a breath. "That's… wow. Start with the big one, huh?"

"I was positive you were someone entirely different, but… I don't know. Why did you lie for me?"

"Gina would have killed you."

"Did you miss the part where I nearly killed you?"

"But you didn't. You saved my life."

"And held you in a boat."

Tom pulled in a breath, wincing as he did. "Aleko did."

"Tom, you said it was safe to talk here," Liz whispered and he shook his head.

"You've got to believe it, Lizzy. Gina hates you. There's a good chance that she may never one hundred percent believe you didn't do it, but that's fine. As long as she believes you're not against me, she'll go with it. Bud… Bud's different. To convince him, you'll need to believe it yourself. Aleko shot me. Why?" She was staring at him like he'd gone insane. "Liz, there's a chance that I can't get you out of here before he comes back. You've got to work with me on this or I can't protect you."

"Why do you want to?"

He set his jaw, shifting against the pillows. "Answer the question, Liz. Why'd he shoot me?"

She frowned. "Didn't you just say I deserved answers?"

"After we go through this. Trust me, I know it doesn't feel like it, but this is more important right now. It'll keep you safe."

She just didn't know why he wanted to and that was what was driving her nuts. She had thought that she had heard a soft confession just before he had passed out in the car after leaving the boat, but Liz had been caught up in such a whirlwind that she couldn't be sure. She didn't trust herself not to have heard only what she wanted to hear... If that was even what she wanted. Maybe it _was_ better to just focus on survival at this point. "Aleko shot you because you murdered Meera."

"Technically I just gave over her name," Tom grumbled. "Anyway. How'd you find me?"

"How _did_ I find you?"

"This one has to come from you."

That made sense. If she was going to convince this boss of his - or whatever he was - she couldn't sound like she was repeating a story. She would have been, for the part where Tom was shot, because in this little fantasy they were cooking up she hadn't been anywhere near him when he had taken three bullets. "I was tracking you down," she said, her voice a little distant and she could see it as if it really had happened. Was this how he did it? Did he come up with stories that were so good that even he believed them? "I was tracking you down and I found Aleko. I… waited until he was away and got his key."

"Then what? Were you planning to arrest me?" Tom asked, tilting his head and waiting for the answer.

"I was," she said softly, "but then… then I saw you and I knew I had to get you out. Now I'm not sure."

"I almost believe that."

So did she. "Good. Maybe your boss will."

"Maybe so."

A tear that she hadn't realized was building slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away hastily. He reached up, catching her hand. "Hey," he murmured, pulling her attention to him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything. I… I really never meant for you to get hurt."

"How did you think this was going to end, Tom?"

"I don't know. I guess… I guess I hoped that it wouldn't."

"So what? You were just going to live a lie the rest of your life? How much was Berlin paying you anyway?"

He gave a short, mirthless laugh. "It wasn't about the money." His eyes flickered up to meet hers. "I know you don't have any reason to believe me. You don't have to."

Liz felt her chest clench and she squeezed his hand. "I don't know what to believe anymore."

He pulled in a breath and he looked tired. His eyes drifted closed, and for a moment she thought he had fallen asleep. "So, what do you want to know?"

"Something true," she found herself saying. "Is this some sort of school? Did they teach you to do... whatever it is that you do here?"

Tom chuckled and his eyes slid back open and watched her. "Yeah. What I do... I was trained as a deep cover operative. I do a little bit of everything. I can be anyone."

Liz couldn't decide if that sounded exciting or incredibly lonely. "How long?"

"Since I was fourteen, so right at twenty years."

"And this Bud guy...?"

"He raised me. Got me off the streets and gave me a chance. I owe Bud a lot."

"Off the streets?" Liz echoed, and suddenly Craig wasn't the only part of his family that fell into question. "What about your parents?"

"My mom dropped me off into the foster system before I can remember. No clue about my dad. I've never checked on either of them."

"I never knew," she said softly, shifting in her place.

He shrugged. "Not your fault. I'm good at what I do."

She swallowed hard. He looked like he was struggling to stay awake. She could probably ask him anything at that point and get a truthful answer. Instead, though, she reached forward and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, pleased to feel that his temperature was still evening out.

"It's late, Liz," he said with a tired sigh, squeezing the hand he still had a hold of. "Maybe we should get some sleep? There's a shower through that door and I think I have some blankets I can make a pallet with. You'll just have to help me get back up in the morning so Gina doesn't yell at me."

"You're not sleeping on the floor." She looked down at his hand holding hers. It was strange and comforting. "We slept next to each other for three years. A couple nights won't kill us."

He nodded, looking too tired to argue with her anymore. Liz got him settled and he was asleep before she went through the shower, surprised to see a change of clothes there. Apparently Gina was watching out for her, if the Russian woman wanted to or not.

Liz pulled her hair back and crawled into the bed. Tom didn't stir, even as she inched closer to him and leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "I wish you'd tell me why you were doing this," she whispered, though if she were honest with herself, she knew it hadn't been her emotions playing tricks on her in the car. Liz knew exactly what her husband had said, and if that were true, if he did love her, what did that mean about her? It had been bad enough when she had thought that the only person to make her feel safe, to make her feel _chosen_ was hired to do so, but what if she had taken that man that had done all of that because of his feelings for her, and she had tried to break him? What sort of monster did that to a man that loved her?

Her grip tightened around the fabric of his shirt sleeve and she tried to keep the tears in. He shifted and she swallowed the sob that was threatening, but then she felt a hand on her hair. "What do you need?" he whispered and she inched closer, her eyes squeezed shut.

"I don't know."

"What do you want?"

"For it to stop hurting."

There was a long beat of silence, all the while he continued to run his hand through her hair. "Me too," he confessed softly. "We'll figure it out."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Promise."

Liz pressed a kiss to his shoulder and let herself drift off to sleep. For the first time in over a month, even surrounded by those that might want to hurt her, she felt safe curled up with him there.

* * *

TBC

Notes: Sorry, guys, I'm trying to keep these a little shorter, but this one went to nearly 4K. Oops? The cut off for the length I wanted it didn't have the feeling of a good chapter ending, so I went with the longer one. Oh well.

Thank you for the awesome reviews so far! This little plot bunny has just taken over.

Next time: Liz pushes for answers and gets a glimpse of the school on her own.


	3. Part Three

**Part Three.**

Jacob woke the next morning to find Liz curled up at his side, latched onto the sleeve of his t-shirt like that grip was the only thing keeping her from drowning. He knew the feeling.

She stirred and he couldn't help the smile that tugged at him. Thirty- six hours before she hadn't been sure if she was going to finish him off after he'd served his purpose or let him live, but now she was sleeping by his side. Not that he would want her to be in the kind of danger she was in there, of course, but he couldn't help the momentary feeling of contentment.

Blue eyes blinked open and looked up at him. "'Morning."

"Morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"It's amazing what having your system flushed with all the right medications will do," he chuckled and winced as he did. "I think I'll live."

"Good."

"I promised to keep you safe. Have to stay alive to do that."

She sat up slowly, her hair falling everywhere and Jacob swallowed hard. He shouldn't have, but he had missed her. The woman that had held him captive hadn't been the same one he had married. No, that had been one that had emerged out of the broken pieces of a wife determined her husband had never existed. Not really. The funny thing was that Jacob had felt very at home in the role of Tom Keen, like it was the life he might have had if he'd been handed a different set of circumstances early on. This woman with him now was Lizzy. She was the sharp and determined woman he had fallen for. He loved her. He didn't care anymore how insane that was.

"You have a really funny look on your face," she laughed. "You okay?"

"Just thinking," he admitted softly. He had made a choice to keep his feelings to himself after he was sure she knew. He had clamped down and refused to say anything. What was the point? She wouldn't have believed him anyway, but maybe now he had a chance. She had seen that, after everything, he was willing to go to great lengths to protect her.

"About how we're going to get out of this?" she asked, shifting to look at him.

He shrugged and slowly sat up. Everything hurt and he still felt sluggish and ill, but he didn't think that he was about to slip off the edge any time soon. Carefully he reached around and pulled open the drawer next to the bed, finding the old pair of glasses tucked away there. He set them on his nose and started reading the instructions on the pill bottle when he felt Liz move behind him. Her hands went to his shoulders and he froze, uncertain.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?" he managed.

"What I asked last night. Why you're doing this."

"I think you know," Jacob answered softly. He knew she did. Her touch said she did.

"I want to hear it from you."

He turned so that he was facing her, his comment dying before it left his mouth. She was staring at him as if her next move depended on him right then and there. It was the same desperation he had felt rolling off of her their dining room the day he'd lied through his teeth and told her all he felt was pity. He could do the same, but all that would do was hurt both of them. If he vocalised what they both knew now was true - because, really, why would someone risk their life for the person that had tortured them for the last month without feelings for them that could override the hate? - he was opening himself up to more pain than he was already in, but if he remained silent, if he gave into his uncertainty about her true feelings, he'd pull them both down with it.

"Tom?" she prompted quietly.

Jacob didn't give himself a chance to second guess. He leaned towards her, his lips pressed against hers and she didn't pull back. Instead she leaned into it, her hand coming up to the side of his face and snaking around to the back of his neck. It had been some time since they'd kissed like that. It was as if nothing sat between them.

Finally they broke, Jacob reluctantly, and he let his eyes slip open and found her staring at him. "I love you, Liz. I have since... I _chose_ to be with you. I wasn't supposed to be that close."

"You can't just tell me half of it," his wife said roughly and he could see the conflict. "Berlin wanted you to use me to-"

"Berlin hired me because I was already in your life. The guy that put me there... He fired me when we got engaged. I couldn't let Berlin put someone in there that would hurt you,"

She sat there for a moment, soaking in the information. Jacob reached back around and popped two of the pills Gina had left him into his mouth, following them down with water.

"Who hired you first?"

"You don't want to know that," he said quickly.

"No, you don't want to tell me. Tom-"

"Jacob." She stopped, looking at him, and a small smile tipped his lips up. "My name."

"I heard Gina call you that, but I didn't know if it was real or not."

"Yeah, that's it." He could feel her studying him. "Thought you should know."

"If I'd just asked nicely, huh?"

"Would have made things a lot easier."

"You were kind of an ass. It's not like you gave me any indication."

"I was scared," he said very quietly. He'd barely admitted that to himself. "I just fell back on my training."

Liz pulled her knees up to her chest and put her chin on them. "This is so weird."

"Hmm?"

"You. This. It's... It seemed like the only options were either Red was lying to me or you were exactly what he said you were. Not somewhere in between."

"I wouldn't discount him lying to you yet," Jacob grumbled, feeling the medication start to kick in. He probably should have eaten with it.

She must have heard the drugs working in his voice. "Who hired you before Berlin?"

Jacob slumped back against his pillows. He had forgotten how comfortable they were. It was dangerous how easily she was able to pull the truth from him once it had begun. That, though, was crossing the line. "Ask me later? When I'm not sick on medication?"

She winced and he knew he had bought time. Liz reached forward a pressed a cool hand against his forehead. "Your fever is still down. That's good."

"Yeah, I'm on the mend."

She bit her lip. "I really am sorry."

"About what? Aleko shot me."

She nodded and leaned in. "Not finding you soon enough," she whispered and he knew it was the best compromise she could make in her own mind.

He wrapped an arm around her, and while she stiffened at first, she relaxed into him. "I forgive you, Liz," he breathed. "You had to protect your team, and I should have done a better job of protecting you."

"You will," she said. "And when we get out, I'll protect you."

Jacob blinked, and after a second he realized that she expected him to walk away from all of this when they left. The real surprise that took him was that the idea wasn't as terrifying as it should have been. He'd never know another life... not before her. She had shown him what it could be. He had given Bud twenty years of his life. Maybe it was time to walk away. "Lizzy?"

"Hmm?" she answered drowsily.

"Are we going to make this work? Us, I mean?"

She shifted so she could look at him. "I'd like to get to know you, Jacob."

He grinned at that and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "That's more than fair." He waited a moment and kissed her again. "I'm sorry too."

"Just don't lie to me, okay?"

"I can do that." He hoped so, because a second chance together might have been more than he had risked a hope for.

* * *

Liz wasn't sure when she fell back to sleep, but she woke before Tom did. He was still buried beneath the blankets, face pressed deep into the pillow, and he gave a short cough in his sleep. She felt her lips tug down a little and reached over, pushing back dark hair and checking for a fever. He was much cooler now. He stirred a little, but didn't actually wake, and she eased herself up and off the bed as carefully as she could.

She had been out of touch with the Post Office for over twenty-four hours by this point, and people were likely starting to question her disappearance. She had left for lunch and simply hadn't come back, as far as they would know. Gina had taken her phone and tossed it out of the car window on the way to the plane the day before and she hadn't had a chance to call since.

There was a bag sitting by the door with clothes for both she and Tom, as well as plastic bag with a few food items. She set it on the counter and changed, checking on him one more time to make sure he was sleeping soundly before she ducked out of the little apartment and into the hallway.

As best as she could tell, his living space was part of a collection of dorms. There had to be a phone of some kind, somewhere, and it was a matter of finding it. She took careful note of each turn that she made so that she could find her way back, hopefully before he ever woke up. All she needed to do was talk to Ressler, let him know she was okay, and that she was on a lead. The lie could be explained - or at least expanded on - once she got back. Right then she just needed to make sure that they didn't take resources away from the hunt for Berlin to come looking for her.

She found the exit before she found a phone, and it emptied her out into a courtyard. She had about decided that she was going in the wrong direction when she turned to find she needed a key card to get back into the dorms. Liz frowned. Well, that wasn't helpful.

"You are more trouble than you're worth."

Liz turned, startled by the voice, and found Gina Zanetakos standing there with her arms crossed and a glare on her pretty face. "I was-"

"I don't care. Jacob was supposed to keep you in his rooms. That was the deal. You don't get to wander around looking for secrets."

"I wasn't."

Gina snorted, tossing her head back a little. "Yes, because little miss FBI is just going to let this all go. Jacob may be fool enough to believe you, but I'm not."

Liz bristled at the remark. "What is your problem, anyway?"

"My problem is that you have him so turned around he doesn't know which way is up," Gina snapped, grabbing her by the arm and leading her to the side of the building as several teenagers - students? - passed by. "I've never seen a shrink that could get into that man's head the way you have. I don't know how you did it, but it needs to stop. You're going to get him killed."

"We told you that I didn't-"

"You didn't shoot him.I know what you both keep saying. If you did or didn't isn't the problem. The problem is that you're a fed and he is an operative. Bill won't just let you go, and what's Jacob going to do? Keep you like a pet? No, Bill will make him choose and you've done enough damage to him that it might be too much to come back from."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Gina snorted. "You've made him believe he loves you."

"You don't think he does?" Liz asked quietly, and she wasn't quite sure why the answer terrified her. This woman was a worse liar than Tom. All she had proven was that she wasn't ready to kill her. Yet.

"I know that he _thinks_ he does, but I've known him a long time."

Liz's lips twitched downward. "You may have known him, but you don't know a damn thing about _us_." She wasn't sure why she was so determined that Gina should be certain that Tom loved her, but there was something about the way the woman treated her, almost like a scorned former lover. "What's with the two of you anyway?"

"You keep asking me. If you think he loves you so much, ask him. See if you believe him."

The door to the dorms opened and both women looked over to see a very unsteady Tom there. Gina turned a glare that could kill on Liz before moving immediately over to him, growling something to him in Russian.

"Liz," he breathed, all but ignoring the blonde, and moved slowly past her. "I woke up and you were gone."

"I need to call my people, Tom. They're going to-"

"Not out here," he hissed and motioned for her to follow him. Gina buzzed them back in and they were back in his apartment before he turned, looking exhausted and upset. "What were you thinking, Liz? I can't protect you if you go wandering off. Were you _seriously_ looking to call the FBI?"

Liz blinked, a little surprised at the outburst. He'd been so careful with her since they'd gotten there, like he was afraid of stepping in the wrong place and undoing everything he'd proven so far. This, though, was a part of his temper that she knew well. She leveled a glare at him. "Of _course_ I was. They're my team, Tom, and I've been gone for over a day now. No warning, just gone. We just lost Meera, Cooper's still recovering, and you know what they're going to think when one more of their own just drops off the map? It's not like I was going to tell them where I am. _I_ don't even know where we are!"

"Idiot, they'd track your call," Gina growled.

"I've got this," Tom said instantly, his tone cold and he straightened his back.

"Jacob-"

"I've got this, Gina. Let me handle it."

"I wish you would," she snapped. "This is going too far. Give her to me, I'll take her to Berlin, and this whole mess is done."

" _No_."

"So what then?"

"I'll handle Berlin."

"That was the plan all along, wasn't it?" she murmured and Tom glared.

"Let me handle this." He turned to her and spoke to her lowly in Russian. Liz didn't recognize the phrase, but Gina's expression softened and she spoke in the same language. The exchange seemed to do it, because her shoulders slumped, she nodded, and then turned to leave.

"What was that?" Liz asked quietly, catching Tom's attention from where he was staring at the door.

"We were fourteen when we met," he answered, his voice tight. "Gina didn't speak a word of English. She'd gotten into some trouble at home and was on the streets. Bud caught wind and took me with him to recruit her. I was supposed to be working on my Russian. I was the one she trusted first, not Bud. I just reminded her of that."

Liz felt her anger dissipate a little. "You have a lot of history with these people, don't you?"

"I grew up with them."

"They're your family," she acknowledged, her voice barely a whisper.

His jaw clenched a little and she reached up, her palm against his cheek. He relaxed a little at the touch, leaning into it. "It's complicated. We're not... Most of us don't see the world like you do."

"How's that?"

He shrugged and Liz could almost feel him closing down. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to get you out of here and you... I need you to never think about this place again."

"There are a lot of bad people here, Tom," she said softly.

"We don't just do bad things, you know. We're no worse than your buddy Reddington."

Liz snorted. "He's not my buddy."

"Could have fooled me," he murmured.

"So what happens? Can you just walk away?"

He shrugged, looking down at his feet. They were bare. He hadn't even bothered to put shoes on when he'd taken off to go look for her. "No one really does, but if Bud would let someone, it'd be me."

Bud had raised him, and everything that he and Gina had said told the profiler that the relationship he had with the man was more than just a working relationship. He was probably the closest thing to a father that Tom had ever had. Asking him to betray that would be cruel. "Maybe he will," she whispered. "I won't tell anyone, Tom. Jacob," she corrected herself with a small laugh. "That's taking some getting used to."

He chuckled and reached out to her. "Thank you, Liz."

"What happens if he doesn't let you go?" she asked quietly.

"He will."

She nodded, letting him pull her into a hug and carefully returning it. She hoped he was right.

"You can call them as soon as we get out, Liz. We just can't risk them finding this place."

"I know."

"I'll help you get Berlin. We'll fix this."

She nodded, leaning into him. "I trust you," she whispered the promise and willed herself to believe it.

* * *

TBC

Next time: Bud comes back to the campus a few days early and Jacob has to find a way to keep them both alive.


	4. Part Four

**Part Four.**

Food wasn't helping. In fact, he thought it might be making it worse. He had managed to keep down the lunch that Gina had left for them, but by the time that she brought dinner he was feeling worse. He hadn't taken the time to look at the clock to see what time it was as he bolted out of bed and to the bathroom.

"Tom?"

He was shaking, losing what his body hadn't processed of dinner and he heard Liz's voice from the bedroom. He heard her shifting and getting up as he pressed his forehead against the porcelain. "'m okay," he mumbled.

"You sure?"

Jacob heard her approaching, her footsteps quiet, and she knelt in the floor with him, one hand against his back. "Mostly," he breathed and sighed.

Her touch was gentle as she rubbed circles on his back. "Just take it easy. You need anything?"

"To stop feeling like hell," Jacob groused and Liz pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

Her voice sounded almost as pained as he felt. He reached back and she took his hand. "Love you," he rasped, squeezing her fingers. He felt her stiffen behind him. "It's okay," he murmured. "I just need you to know."

He glanced back and Liz was staring at him with wide eyes. He knew she was struggling through it. He'd made his decision years before, but it was still relatively new for her. She knew Tom, not Jacob, and she was still coming around to the idea that Jacob wasn't as terrible as she had thought he was. "Thank you," she managed quietly.

"Yep."

The pounding on the door made him twitch and he glared in that direction. "Seriously?"

"It's three in the morning," Liz grumbled and stood as if she were going for the door.

Jacob caught her wrist. "I got it."

"You just threw everything you had in you up. Stay there."

"And what if it's someone other than Gina?"

She stopped, as if she hadn't thought about that. He had been there a couple of days now, and somehow his name seemed to travel the halls like some sort of hushed rumour. If someone like Justin Masterson was on campus for any reason it wouldn't have been unusual for him to have had a few drinks and show up in the middle of the night. Masterson could smell a cop a mile away and one look at Liz and he'd know. He wasn't sure he could physically get between them to fight him off at this point. Keeping him out all together was a safer option.

Carefully Jacob picked himself up off the floor, closing his eyes as his stomach rolled again. He waved Liz off and made his way to the door, flipping the locks to open it. Gina looked ready to hurt him as she blew past him. "Come on in," he grumbled sarcastically.

"Bill came back early," she snapped.

"Bud's here?"

"Yes. Just landed."

"Does he know?"

She shrugged and glanced at Liz. "Jacob, it's time to end this. You need to end this."

"I'll handle Bud."

"What could you possibly offer him in exchange?"

"I have something."

Gina looked at him like he's lost his mind, and maybe he had. Bud had raised him. His loyalties weren't wavering, but he understood why she thought they were. He just needed to prove to them that he knew this woman. She would keep their secrets. Better yet, she would never have enough information to give them away even if she wanted to.

"She isn't worth what you're risking, Jacob," Gina said quietly.

"Yes she is," he breathed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'll take care of Bud. I'll go see him now and head off the problem. Liz, you'll stay here, right?"

"Yeah," she answered softly. "I'll lock the door behind you."

He offered a smile. "See? No problem. Let's go."

"You look like you're barely on your feet," Gina argued.

"I'll rest better after talking to Bud. No reason to put it off." He reached for the door and tugged it open, finding the man in question coming down the hall towards it. "Or we could just handle it here."

Bud did not look happy. Jet-lagged, frustrated, but definitely not happy. He moved into the room without invite and glared in Gina's direction. "Out."

"Bill-"

"You want to fall with him?"

She stiffened and risked a glance at Jacob. He shot her a thin smile. "You heard the man."

Gina nodded and she was gone, leaving Jacob, Liz, and Bud alone. Jacob turned to the man that raised him and saw the boiling rage just below the surface. "Bud-"

"You got some nerve, Phelps," the Major growled, pulling his firearm and clicking the safety off as he aimed it at the younger man's head.

"Hey!" Liz snapped, stepping forward.

"You want me to put a bullet through him you keep coming towards us," Bud warned and Liz stopped where she was.

Jacob showed his hands. "She's not going to talk, Bud. If anything, she's going to help us set some things straight."

Bud adjusted his grip on the gun. He knew Jacob well enough not to shoot him before hearing him out. Jacob didn't think he wanted to shoot him anyway. It was for show and to appease his own frustration.

"Reddington," Jacob prompted and that seemed to catch his mentor's attention. "She's Reddington's... whatever the hell he sees her as. She's been off grid for nearly two days now. He's been close, so he'll know."

"You already screwed things up with Reddington. Berlin was the fix. You need to take the girl into her, kid."

"You want me to fix things with Reddington? This is how we do it."

The gun finally came down. "You were always planning to double cross Berlin," Bud sighed.

"You and I both know Reddington comes out on top of this whole thing with Berlin. Wouldn't it be better to have that patched up?"

"It would have been better if you hadn't hopped in bed with the bitch to begin with. That's what _started_ this mess."

Jacob shot his wife a quick look and she snapped her response to the comment short, crossing her arms and glaring. "You wanted a fix. I brought it to your doorstep, Bud."

The Major snorted. "You better hope you have, kid. You've stuck your neck out for her too many times. If this doesn't work, she's going straight to Berlin, you understand me?"

"Yeah, I hear you."

"Don't make me put you down, Jacob."

The request was strange and for the briefest moment Jacob saw a flash of conflict in Bud's eyes. "I won't let you down, Bud," he promised and the older man nodded stiffly.

"She's not going to leave this room, you hear me, kid? I find her outside and I'll shoot her on sight."

"I know. Liz just came to help Gina get me here."

"Yeah, Maxwell tells me you came in in pretty bad shape. Still shouldn't have brought her here. Either of you." He shot a look towards Liz before turning and leaving, an uncomfortable silence following his departure that left Jacob feeling shaky.

"Reddington," Liz bit out behind him.

He turned and found her glaring at him with the same hard look that she'd watched him with for the past month. "Lizzy," he started, but she took a firm step forward, looking ready to attack.

"Is that what all this is about? Getting to Reddington? You've been... Wow. You had me fooled. Again. You _are_ good, you son of a bitch. You had me believing that you really loved me."

Her words sunk in with a little bit of a delay. It was late and they were both tired. She had always been ready to jump to the worst conclusions when she was worn down. He needed to make sure she knew that wasn't why he'd done it. "Liz, no, that's... I'm using Reddington to get us out of this mess. He's the one that.." He closed his eyes, sterling himself. Spilling Reddington's secrets wasn't a safe chance to take, but he loved her more than he feared Reddington. He had to, or he'd lose her all over again. "Reddington hired me to protect you. He fired me when you and I got engaged."

She stared at him, the anger still there, but he could tell she was trying to sort through to the truth. He waited, giving her time, and finally she took a more hesitant step forward. "Red was the employer you wouldn't tell me about?"

"Yeah," he managed.

"Why?"

He shook his head. "Lots of reasons. I knew you wouldn't like it, and... My training has drilled it into me not to give away sensitive information about clients. Even previous ones."

She nodded slowly. "So what now?"

Jacob took a shaky breath, moving slowly to a drawer and pulling a pair of jeans out of it, starting to get dressed. "Now we run."

"What?" Liz managed in a small voice, as if that were the last thing she expected. He tossed her a pair of pants to change into and she barely caught it. "We can't. You're not well enough yet to-"

"Bud won't be able to get ahold of Reddington. If he could, I think he'd take the deal, but you and I are going to have to go to him directly."

"You can't run. I'll go to Reddington."

"You can't get out by yourself."

The door opened behind him and both he and Liz jumped, halfway through changing. "Neither of you can," Gina said as she threw a bag at Jacob. He caught it clumsily. "Clothes, ammunition, and money. I also managed to get some painkillers from the med ward. You need to go now."

"Bud'll know," Jacob managed and his oldest friend shrugged.

"Come through on your end and fix your mess, Phelps. I'd rather take Reddington's business than Berlin's anyway."

He chuckled. "Thanks, Gina."

She turned to Liz and glared. "You get him killed, and not even Reddington will be able to protect you."

"I'm a big boy, Gina. I can take care of myself," he offered with a quirked smile.

"Just get through this," she said softly. "You and I both know he won't want to, but Bill will kill you if it comes down to it."

Jacob nodded and Liz took the bag from him, slipping her hand into his. He knew what the gesture was meant to say. She trusted him. She was choosing to trust him. He squeezed her fingers and started out the door.

* * *

Getting out of the compound was not as hard as Jacob had expected, and he likely had Gina to thank for that. He didn't let go of Liz's hand and she stayed close, her presence a consistent reminder of why it was so important to stay on his feet. The last round of being sick had left him entirely empty and weak. It wasn't doing his balance any favours.

"Tom?" Liz whispered from behind.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a plan once we get out?"

"I have a real go-bag stored with some of my stuff. I tucked it away before..." He looked back and Liz cringed. Before she tossed him into that hole. There was no need to say it.

"So what? We just... run? Where?"

He blinked, trying to fight through the pain and the feeling of the ground shifting beneath him when he knew it was steady. Bud was going to be pissed. Beyond pissed. If Jacob didn't give him a chance to let his temper cool, he really might kill him. Berlin was going to be the second client he had crossed for Liz, and if he had been anyone else or had anything less to offer for it, the Major would have put him down the first time. A small part of him had been ready to retire from all of this. He had given his mentor twenty years of his life. It was time to bow out before he took a hit he couldn't recover from. He couldn't think of a better reason to do than than Lizzy.

"We just need to lay low for a little while. Bud'll get over it and we can-"

"Tom, I can't just leave my team. We have to track down Berlin. He murdered Meera. He slit her throat. I... I found her like that."

He stopped. They were just beyond the school grounds and they had more ground to cover on foot than he cared to think about. She was teetering on the edge though, and he needed her solid. "We will, but we can't do that if we're dead. We have to get back to DC first."

"Where are we?"

"Upstate New York."

She stared at him and he turned, starting forward. "Liz, we have to go."

"Are you okay?"

"No. I was shot and then got crappy medical care. I'm not okay," he snapped, regretting the words as soon as they had left his lips. He winced at her fallen expression and reached out. "I'm sorry, Lizzy," he tried, his voice more gentle. "I feel terrible, but we can't stop. If Bud realizes we're gone before he's even tried to reach Reddington and catches us, he'll hurt you. Worse, probably."

Liz reached out, her hand against his cheek and he couldn't help leaning into it a little. "You're warm again."

"I'm sick, Liz, but we _have_ to go."

"This is my fault."

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Liz, look at me. I meant it when I said that I forgive you."

"Why?"

"Because apparently being in love makes people do crazy things," he chuckled. "Like locking your husband up because he lied to you about... a lot."

His tease pulled a small smile from her and she wrapped an arm around his middle, careful not to hurt him. "Lean on me, okay? Which way?"

Jacob nodded forward and did as she asked. If they could get to a car or a bus station, they could get down to DC. Once there, he had a go-bag with passports, money, and pretty much anything he had left in the world. He hoped Bud would cool down, but until he did, they had to figure out a way to survive and, hopefully, set things straight.

* * *

TBC

Next time: Liz and Jacob are on the run and they need to lay low. Liz makes a risky decision to reach out to the one of the few people she trusts for help.


	5. Part Five

**Part Five.**

She wondered how he had stayed upright. The bus had been out of the question with how ill Tom looked, but she was able to secure a car after a quick call to the Post Office. The details were vague, but she promised answers as soon as she came in.

Tom was burning up by the time they got into the vehicle and she had to nearly force feed him to get the next round of pills down him. He stretched out as much as he could along the back seat and slept as she drove, rousing him every little bit to make sure he didn't slip too deep.

Liz frowned as she glanced in her mirror at her husband in the back seat. Reddington could fix this. Tom had told Bud that they could set things straight with him, whatever that meant. She could convince him to do it, she knew, especially since he had started all of this madness. He would do anything to get back in her good graces, and at the moment she wasn't beyond using that. The problem was that she needed time. If she showed up with Tom - completely unable to defend himself - Red would kill him. She couldn't risk it, but she didn't think she could go through normal channels either. That left her with an option no one would be comfortable with, but one she at least trusted.

She glanced back again to see he was asleep and flipped the burner phone open, dialling a number in. It rang and rang before she heard a curt "Ressler," from the other end.

"Hey," she greeted her partner. "I need a favour."

"Keen? What the hell is going on? You went off the grid and Martin said-"

"I need your help, Ressler. I... I need someone I can trust."

There was a long pause on the other end. "What kind of trouble are you in, Liz?"

"The kind I can't talk to you about until I get there."

He sighed on the other end. "How far out are you? I'll meet you at my place." A quick glance at the clock showed that they'd spent the predawn hours getting to the vehicle and it was now closer to afternoon than morning. He was at work.

Liz gave him the estimated time and hung up. She would owe him. Big time, but she couldn't let Tom die after all of this. She didn't care about Gina's threat. He had thrown away his chance at taking the time to heal so that he could protect the woman that had injured him to begin with. There were still so many questions, but one of the few things Liz wanted to believe was that her husband wasn't the monster she had thought he was. She'd be damned if she let him die before they reached the end of this.

* * *

"Tom?"

The voice was distant, but it was Liz's. Jacob struggled back towards consciousness, latching onto her voice like a lifeline to pull himself in.

"Tom? Hey, you need to wake up. Can you hear me?"

"Yeah," he croaked, finally prying his eyes open. He reached to the cup holder for his glasses and his vision cleared a little at least. "Where are we?"

"Some place safe. I need to convince Red that it's in everyone's best interest for him to set things straight with your boss. That way he won't come after us."

Jacob's mind spun. Reddington would shoot him on sight. "He may not do that. He-"

"He will for me. Come on. Can you get up?"

He nodded stiffly and sat up slowly, feeling her hands on him to help him. She pulled one of his arms around her shoulders. "I need to get my bag with everything in it. If we need to go, we'll need it."

"We won't need to. I'm going to take care of you, just like you've been taking care of me," she promised. "Do you trust me?"

Jacob hesitated. He wanted to, but Liz had been over her head since this whole thing started. He swallowed hard, ready to speak, but ended up feeling the world spin instead. "Yes," he said at last. He had to. It wasn't like they could just stand out there all afternoon.

"I'm going to get us out of this," she promised and he felt her tighten her hold on him.

They were at an apartment complex, as far as he could tell. They moved slowly to a door and part of him wondered if she had moved and this was her new place. "Just want to go home, Liz," he mumbled and he knew how stupid he sounded.

"Not just yet, babe," Liz said gently and knocked on a door. Well, it wasn't her place then.

The door opened and Jacob forced himself to look up. Donald Ressler did not look happy to see them. In fact, he looked a little angry. "What the hell, Liz?" he growled.

"I'll explain, but right now he needs help."

"He needs a hospital," Ressler argued, but moved out of the way.

"Not with the people we'll have after us."

"What did you do, Liz? You said he was dead."

She eased him down onto a sofa and Jacob forced himself to focus. This was one of Liz's teammates. If he found out what really happened, he'd throw Liz in prison for it. He opened his mouth, the lie ready, but his wife put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. I trust Ressler."

Ressler looked less and less pleased with that trust as the story unfolded, Liz's hands flying so fast as she spoke that Jacob had to close his eyes at one point. For what it was worth, Boy Scout let her have her say, and he waited until she was done to speak. "Why not take him to Reddington?"

"Red would kill him."

"Let me get this straight: you want me to harbour a fugitive while you go talk the FBI's fourth most wanted criminal into talking to some guy that sounds like he should probably be on Red's blacklist so that he doesn't send someone after your lying ex."

"For saving my life," Liz said firmly.

"Did she seriously keep you tied up on a boat for a month?"

It took a moment for Jacob to realize the question was directed at him. He looked up to find the older man's gaze locked on him, but Liz spoke before he could.

"I'm not proud of it, Ress. I was trying to get Berlin. It... it went too far."

"Can he help us get Berlin?"

"Yes," Jacob answered. "I will, as long as Liz and I can walk away free from this."

"That's a hell of a demand."

"Not if I bring him down."

"I'll run it by Martin."

Jacob shot Liz a questioning look.

"Cooper's stand in since you nearly got him killed," Ressler growled.

"I won't apologise for keeping Liz as safe as I could during that," Jacob growled.

"Okay, boys. Ressler, can you keep an eye on him? He's been fighting an infection. He has medication in the bag that's helping, but it needs time to work and he needs rest."

"I won't call it in," the agent said reluctantly.

"Thank you." Liz turned to him and Jacob could tell he was about to be left alone with a man that she might trust, but he didn't. Right now, she was on his very short list of people he did trust. "Hey," she said softly, gaining his attention. "We're going to be okay."

"I know," he said automatically and she snorted a laugh.

"You always say that when you don't believe me."

He chuckled. "Figured that one out?"

"A while back," she said and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Don't give Ressler trouble."

"Okay. Hey, Liz? Be safe."

"I will. I'll be back soon." She started to stand, but paused, as if she were torn, but then leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. She didn't linger long, but it was enough to give him some hope to hold onto.

Jacob watched her as she left, his gaze lingering on the door several moments after she was gone. Ressler locked it behind her and turned towards the injured operative. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then frowned. "What did you do to her?" he asked at last, but even Jacob could hear the hesitation in his voice, as if he understood the absurdity of asking it after the story Liz had told.

"Whatever I had to to keep her safe," Jacob answered honestly.

Ressler shook his head. "Get some sleep. I'll order a pizza or something. Red's not your biggest fan, so it could take Liz a while to convince him."

"If anyone can it's her," Jacob murmured, slumping back against the couch. He needed to stay awake. He didn't like the idea of being in this guy's home and relying on him, but he couldn't quite manage it. He vaguely heard Ressler dialling the phone before everything slipped into darkness.

* * *

"Lizzy, you have no idea how worried I've been," Reddington said as soon as she had walked through the door.

She was tired and she put out, but more than anything Elizabeth Keen was insulted. This man that had forced her to see through Tom's lies, that had painted him as a monster to be done away with, had known who he was all along. She hadn't meant to lead in with that, but the moment she laid eyes on him the question fell from her lips. "Did you know?"

Red blinked at her, obviously startled. "Know what?"

There were so many secrets that this man knew. So much he could tell her. Liz had been about certain by that point that, at the very least, he didn't lie to her. Learning that he had been the one to hire Tom had shattered that. He had known. He had to have known. "That he loved me?"

The so-called Consigner of Crime stiffened. "Who?"

"My husband," Liz bit out. It had been some time since she had referred to Tom in that way, especially with Red. "That he stayed because he loves me."

"Tom's alive," he breathed. "You lied to me."

She felt her temper flare. " _I_ lied to _you_? I asked you what you knew about him and you said not a whole lot more than I did."

"What has he told you?"

"Enough," she snapped.

"I understand that you are upset, but please Lizzy, this could be very important. He has been trained from a very young age to lie and to manipulate. What has Tom told you?"

"It isn't what he's told me. It's what he's proved," Liz answered shortly. She took a breath, trying to bring herself back under control. She needed him on her side to make this work. They could still get Berlin and she could find a way to head Bud off before he came after them, but she needed Reddington on her side. He'd never failed to come around before. "And you're right. This is important. Everything rests on this happening just right, and you're going to help me do that."

His expression darkened a little. "And how's that?"

"You're going to forgive the debt he and the Major owe you."

* * *

TBC

Notes: So this story really wasn't supposed to get much past three or four chapters or so. It took on a life of it's own. I'm winding down in the actual writing process and the goal is to have it all up by next week when the show comes back on. I hope you're all still enjoying it. :)

Next time: Liz sets a meeting with an arms dealer and Red gets involved.


	6. Part Six

**Part Six.**

He was flashing hot and cold again and everything _hurt_. Jacob curled a little tighter into himself, a cough shaking him and he burrowed down as deep as he could get to the pillow under his head. He wasn't even sure where he was. His mind rebelled every time that he tried to replay the most recent events. He thought that he'd spoken to Bud, maybe. Gina had been there, and Liz too. Nothing made sense.

Jacob jerked up when something touched his shoulders and his eyes flew open as he as pulled out of his half-dream. A man that he recognized, but it took a moment to place, backpedaled to avoid getting his nose broken by the sudden movement and he raised his hands as if he expected Jacob to pull a weapon. "Hey, pal, just a blanket. You were shivering."

"Ressler," Jacob rasped, mostly sure he'd gotten the name right. That was it. Liz had brought him to her partner's apartment until she could convince Reddington of something. "Is Liz back?"

"Not yet. I haven't heard from her. Hey, you need to stay down." Ressler reached forward and had hold of Jacob's shoulders, pushing him back down to the couch. "Damn. Listen, you need to eat something and take the stuff Liz left for you."

"No, I need to make sure she got there okay." They'd been gone long enough that Bud would have noticed. He probably had people looking for them. If Liz was taken in by one of them… Jacob didn't even want to think about it. He just needed to know she was alright. He sat up again, pushing the shorter man's hand away. "We need to-"

"She took the burner, okay? We can call it. You need to stay there."

Jacob was ready to tell him that he didn't need to be babied, but his body took that moment to rebel and he sank back down, the coughing fit sending tremors through him. He could hear Ressler moving and he risked a glance up to see him pacing with the phone to his ear.

"Keen? Yeah, he's awake and was about ready to get up and go looking for you." There was a pause and Jacob shifted, trying to get a better look at the FBI agent's expression. He squinted hard, fever fogged mind refusing to wrap around the fact that he couldn't focus because he wasn't wearing his glasses. "No, I figured making sure he didn't try to go searching for you was probably better. Did you get what you needed from Red? Yeah. I'll tell him."

"She okay?" Jacob asked, managing not to sound entirely panicked that time.

"She's fine. Liz and Red are on their way. She says he's promised not to put a bullet in your head."

Jacob snorted and leaned back, relaxing just a little.

"She said you needed to take the pills in the bag."

Jacob heard him rummaging through the bag that Liz had brought in and before he knew it he had a bottle of water pressed into his hands along with one of the pills that had been left for him. "Thanks."

"Nothing about this makes me comfortable. Liz told us you were dead. You'd been shot and killed."

"She saved my life," Jacob murmured between swallows of water.

Ressler shook his head. "The Liz I met a year ago wouldn't do this. No matter what you did she wouldn't have locked you up and then let you back into her head."

The younger man levelled a glare. "You don't know anything about it." He wasn't sure if Ressler was pissed that he was alive or angry that Liz had tortured him.

"I know Liz."

Jacob rolled his eyes, shifting to sit up straighter on the couch. He felt like hell, but he wouldn't let that stop him. "Yeah, you know the woman I've been married to for nearly three years. Liz does what she thinks is necessary. She did what she thought she had to to protect her team. You know, the one you're on?"

"And you expect me to believe that you're totally okay with that?" Ressler scoffed.

"Of course not, but I understand it." Jacob sat there for a long moment, studying the man that seemed to hate him. He'd only met him two times before. Once when he'd been interrogated over the go-box and the second when he had come over for dinner at his and Liz's in place. Neither had been a pleasant experience.

"So why are you helping her?"

The dark haired man snorted. He didn't owe his wife's partner any explanation. Liz knew, and that was all that mattered.

The knock at the front door saved him from answering and he loosed a long breath as Ressler moved to open it. He had to pull himself together if they were all going to survive this. Time was limited.

"You look better than I expected for a dead man," Reddington's voice jerked him out of his thoughts.

"Hey," Liz greeted as she reached around from behind to check his temperature. "How're you feeling?"

He leaned back to look at her. "Ready to end this."

She offered a small smile. "Me too."

"Elizabeth is convinced you can help us get to Berlin," Reddington said, his voice short and irritable. "She has managed to work a deal for you: you deliver Berlin and I will smooth things over with Bill."

Jacob blinked, forcing himself to focus. "Just like that?"

Liz moved around the couch and took a seat next to him. "We need Berlin, and Red can't get ahold of him from the outside of this. You have connections and names-"

"Volkov."

His wife looked over to him. "Who's that?"

Jacob took a small sip of water from the bottle he still held. He needed to focus, no matter how tired the medication made him. "He's Berlin's arms dealer. He'll be able to set a meet."

"But he won't," Reddington said sharply. "You may be stupid enough to double cross Berlin, but most in his employ are not."

"So we make it worth it for him," Liz said. "I flash my badge, explain to him that I've nominated him for the Most Wanted list and that the information we've received links him to Berlin. What is he going to be more terrified of? He can give us information and have a chance of escape or he can hope Berlin trusts him not to squeal."

He'd always know Liz was clever, but Jacob couldn't help the proud smile that tilted his lips. "Berlin doesn't trust anyone not to talk. He'd put him down and Volkov knows that."

Reddington's gaze shifted between them and Liz grinned. "We make a better team than we do enemies," she said cheerfully. "Can you set it up from here?"

"I should go with you."

"You'd have to be able to get off the couch for that," Ressler pointed out.

"Ress is right, you need to rest," Liz agreed.

"I doubt Ressler gives a damn about my health," Jacob answered irritably.

Liz turned to look him in the eye and Jacob felt his breath catch. "I do." She pressed a kiss to his temple and dropped a burner into his hands. "Set it up?"

Jacob nodded slowly and punched in a number he had committed to memory should he ever need it. As it rang, he wondered if there was anything she could ask for that he wouldn't hand over easily. Really, Ressler shouldn't worry about him controlling or manipulating Liz. If she wanted to, if she were ever inclined, he thought he might be willing to follow her even to his death.

* * *

The meeting was set for the next day. Red had provided a place other than Ressler's apartment to keep her partner out of trouble if they were discovered before they had Berlin in hand. Once they did, Liz would have something to negotiate with, and she had plans to negotiate for Tom's freedom.

"This is incredibly foolish, Lizzy," Reddington said softly.

Liz turned from her place at the bedroom door of the little apartment that Red had brought them to. Tom was sleeping soundly, the medication putting him out and giving his body time to heal. Red hadn't argued the situation as much as Liz had expected, but it looked like he was breaking that now. "You know I'm still angry at you, right?" she asked him tightly.

"He _is_ dangerous, Elizabeth."

"He has done nothing but risk his life for me since Zanetakos showed up in that boat," Liz snapped. "He could have easily let her kill me, but he didn't. He could have tossed me out and said good luck on getting out of the compound, but he put his own health aside to help me. Hell, he put his family-"

" _Family_? Is that what you think he sees them as?" Reddington chuckled. "Lizzy, you don't know the man in that room. You know Tom, a mask that he expertly wore when you were with him. Bill McCready looks for students for his program that find it difficult to form emotional connections and he cultivates that. His training is flawed, somehow. He's... defective."

Liz watched Red watch Tom, feeling her anger boil. "He's not a tool to be used."

"He was paid to do a job, which he did not do. I was told I was getting one set of skills and received something else entirely."

"Newsflash, Red, people feel things," Liz said softly, surprised at how much of the anger had already deflated from her voice. "When they care about people, they act out of break contracts, they lash out when they've been hurt." She looked at him, finally catching his gaze. "They turn themselves in to the FBI just to get close."

It was an olive branch and Reddington seemed to understand that. His shoulders slumped. "He's unpredictable, Lizzy."

"To you. I know that man in there. He'll protect me, and I... I'm going to protect him, Red. I have to do this."

"You still love him," he breathed.

Liz felt a sad smile take hold. "As twisted as it is, I don't think I ever stopped. What does that say about me, that I could do what I did to him?"

Red shifted and he looked uncertain, as if he were weighing his hatred for the man they were speaking about against the affection she knew he held for her. "When you love someone, you have no control," he murmured softly. "That's what love is."

Liz hastily wiped the tears that she hadn't realized were gathering away. "I need to know that you'll respect my decision at the end of this."

"You don't need my-"

"I do. I want it, anyway."

His features softened considerably. "I will do everything in my power." He leaned forward, as if on impulse, and kissed her forehead. "Get some rest, Agent Keen. Tomorrow we lay the groundwork to end this war."

She nodded, watching as he turned down the hall, presumably to another room. Liz took an unsteady breath and walked into the one they had been standing by. Tom was still asleep, and didn't stir as she toed off her boots and slipped out of her jeans. Carefully she climbed in on the other side and inched closer to him. He was warm, but not enough that she thought she should worry. He'd been through a lot recently and his body simply needed time to heal. She leaned forward, pressing a kiss against his shoulder. "I love you too," she whispered very quietly. "I know I couldn't tell you last night, but I do."

He stirred at her touch and his eyes fluttered open as she spoke. "Hey," he greeted raspily. "You okay? Babe?"

Liz blinked back the tears. "I love you."

Tom's smile had always been something that could brighten any mood. It reminded her of a child receiving a surprise Christmas gift. It looked like Jacob's smile was almost identical, just a little shorter lived. "That's... Why are you crying, Liz? Did I miss something?"

She swallowed hard. "Everything I did-"

"Don't worry about it, Lizzy. It's okay, really. I know why you did it. I forgive you, just like I hope you'll be able to forgive me. I did... a lot in the name of keeping you safe. Maybe I caused more damage than I did good, I don't know, but... I love you. I want to do this right."

"Yeah?" she managed with a small laugh and the smile returned.

"Yeah."

She leaned down and pressed her lips against his, his hand coming to the side of her face. If he could forgive her, she wasn't sure she could hold what he did against him. Red had told her enough when pressed for her to know she wasn't just seeing what she wanted to. Tom - Jacob - loved her and he had risked everything for her. She would make sure he was safe after this, no matter the cost.

* * *

TBC

Next time: The meeting with Berlin is set, but Jacob never expected Gina to be there.


	7. Part Seven

**Part Seven**

If there was one thing Jacob hated, it was the feeling of being useless. Being useless and waiting. Worst yet, being useless and waiting in Raymond Reddington's safe house for Liz to meet with a dangerous arms trafficker about a man that would try to kill her at the first chance he got.

"The pacing really must stop."

Jacob paused and looked over to where the so-called Concierge of Crime was sitting in his chair, book in one hand, and glaring in his general direction. Liz hadn't woken him when she had left for the meet, and now not even the heavy doses of medication could put him out. He was pacing nervously, waiting for the phone call to let them know that Liz had a location. She had a team of FBI agents and some of Reddington's people standing at the ready should anything go down. It left Jacob with nothing to do but worry. He was starting to regret not bringing a pack of cigarettes along.

The sound of the burner phone ringing on the table next to Reddington made him jump and Red rolled his eyes, flipping it open. "Dembe," he greeted. Jacob watched his expression darken. "Are you certain it's her?"

Liz. Liz was in trouble. This had been a terrible idea. He should have never let her go in without him. The only way he could be certain she was safe was if he was there with her. Reddington snapped the phone shut and Jacob immediately turned to him. "What's happened?"

"Nothing that concerns you. Lizzy is fine. She's running through options with her team." He stood, setting his book to the side. "I have business I need to attend to. I trust you don't need a babysitter? I won't be yelled at by Lizzy for letting you run yourself right back into the ground. Go back to bed, Tom."

"I can help. I-"

"Have gotten a second wind, yes, I am well aware. It won't last. Your health is unreliable right now. The fact that you're up at all is going to set you back. From what Elizabeth has said it's been your pattern since leaving the boat: you take the medication, your fever drops, you sleep for a stretch, and then you go do something foolish and repeat the cycle again. If it were up to me I'd put a bullet in your head and be done with it, but Lizzy is _quite_ determined to love you. So go sleep. She has the number of your burner."

Jacob stared at the older man as he shrugged on his jacket. "And Tom? If you have anything you're planning, anything at all that might hurt her, your time in the boat will be like a dream. Do I make myself clear?"

"I'm not going to hurt her again," Jacob answered.

"Good, then take care of your health. As much as I am loath to admit it, your death would cause her a great deal of pain."

"You didn't seem to care about that when you killed Sam," Jacob said quietly.

Reddington paused briefly, his back turned towards the former operative. "That was a complicated matter that you couldn't possibly understand."

Jacob snorted and sat heavily on the couch. Red didn't wait for him to continue that thread of the conversation, but set his hat on his head and was gone, the door locking behind him. Jacob leaned back, loosing a long breath, and felt the exhaustion begin to weigh. He glanced at the phone Reddington had been referring to. Liz was safe, he reminded himself. She was safe and with her team. As much as they irritated him at times, they wouldn't let her down.

He curled himself up on the couch, making sure the ringtone was on high before closing his eyes and drifting off.

* * *

There were a lot of things she could get away with on the task force that were explained easily enough, but working a deal for Tom's freedom had been dicey at best. She had been careful with the way she presented him to Martin, explaining that he was an informant with ties to Berlin. If he was instrumental in bringing in Berlin, he received immunity. It was the only chance she had, and if she could read anything from her partner's silence, he wasn't on board with it. As much as she hated that, he didn't know Tom like she did. He hadn't seen what she had the last several days.

"I get that you don't trust him," she started, receiving a sideways glare from the man driving, "but this is the best way to bring down Berlin."

"You left a lot of important information out of your plan to get it approved," Ressler groused. "Like the fact it's Tom, that you've turned into the FBI _twice_ now. Or the fact that he's not really even on his feet yet. Or the fact that you're offering yourself up as _bait_. None of this makes me comfortable."

"Tom just has to make the call. That's it. You'll be right there with me to watch my back. We need that location and we need it now. We've been trying to keep up. It's time to end this before anyone else gets hurt."

They had received the alert halfway through the meeting that a woman named Naomi Hyatt had been kidnapped by Berlin. She was Red's ex-wife, sunk deep into the witness protection program. Berlin had found her though, and the pressure had increased.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it, Keen. You were in there bargaining for his freedom. What are you planning to do when this is over? Just cut him loose? He's a criminal."

Liz felt her chest clench. "Let's focus on what's immediately in front of us, okay?"

They pulled up to the little apartment and parked, Ressler falling quiet. Liz pulled the keys out and called Tom's name, only to find him curled up on the couch like he'd been struggling to stay awake and wait for her. She'd seen it so many times when she would come home from a late assignment to find him asleep over a book or papers he had been grading well into the night. He always looked so peaceful in his sleep.

"Hey," she greeted, pushing dark hair back and finding him cooler now.

Tom stirred. "Hey," he mumbled back. "How'd it go? Volkov talk?"

"Some. He's being held right now. We have to move fast. They took Red's ex wife."

Tom blinked hard, looking like he was trying to focus. "What do you need me to do?"

She dug in her pocket for a set of scrawled numbers and handed it to him. "We have to find his location. The best way to do that is to put a small tracker on me and have me delivered to him. He'll want to see me, so I'll be taken to him. You have to set it up. Just call Berlin and tell him you have a guy bringing me to him."

Her husband sat up a little straighter. "And who's this guy?"

"I am," Ressler chimed in and Tom shook his head.

"No. They'll spot you a mile away. You _look_ like a cop."

"This has to be done now," Liz pressed quickly. "Berlin took Red's wife and he needs to be dealt with. I've worked a tentative deal out with the task force to clear your name, but-"

"Then I'll go with you," he cut her off and she stared at him. He looked exhausted, if a little less ill.

"There's no way you'll stay on your feet long enough," she argued.

"I did to get us out of the school."

"And then you crashed immediately after. If you ever want to get better, you need to take care of yourself. You need rest," Liz argued.

"I'm not sending you in there with boy scout here."

Her partner sighed and Liz shot Ressler a glare to keep the hostilities between the two men to a minimum. "Then what do you suggest?"

"I'll make the call, set up a place and time, and if you're convinced you need to go in, I want to be there to back you up."

"You're not in any condition to fight," Ressler pointed out and Tom shrugged.

"You'd be surprised what I can talk myself out of."

"This is insane, Keen," Ressler directed at Liz. "He can barely stand. You need real backup. We don't even know for sure that we can trust him."

"I trust him," Liz said firmly and she saw a hint in a smile from Tom. "Follow me on the tracker. You'll back us up as soon as we get to the location." She turned to look at her husband. "Will Bud be a problem in this?"

He shook his head. "He'd rather patch things up with Reddington than risk Berlin. I know Gina. She will have convinced him to give me time on that."

"I hope you're right," Ressler growled. "If not, they'll kill you both."

"I'm not going to let Berlin hurt her," Tom swore.

"Okay, this has to be done and we need every available resource. Tom, if you can do this, we'll do it your way."

He nodded, a determined look in his eyes. "Yeah."

"Make the call." She was putting a lot of faith in him for this. Faith that he knew his limits, that he knew the people he had worked with well enough and wasn't blindly trusting them, and that he would work with her on this, not around her. It was strange, in light of everything that happened, but that faith was coming easier than she had expected it to.

* * *

Berlin had not been as enthusiastic as Jacob had hoped. He had thought he was dead, but as soon as Jacob had said Liz's name the Russian man became interested. Time and place was set, and it was all much quicker than he'd anticipated.

"It's fine. We've got this," Liz said as she fit the small tracker - a thin strip that looked like a nicotine patch - on her upper arm. She turned to look at him. "Right?"

Jacob nodded. "Right." He'd been through the shower, taken a half dose of his medicine so that it wouldn't put him out, and had changed clothes. He felt sluggish, but he could work through that. The story was that he had gotten the upper hand on Liz and reached out to Berlin as soon as he could. He was delivering the woman that had shot, imprisoned, and tortured him. He was allowed to look a little under the weather. It would likely help prove his story.

Liz reached up to his face, her touch gentle. "If we need to find another way, now's our last chance."

"I'm good for this, Liz. I promise."

She smiled and tipped up on her toes and kissed him. Reluctantly, he pulled away. "We have to sell this. You hate me and I'm handing you over to complete a job."

Liz frowned a little. "This has gotten so twisted up."

He shrugged. "It's whatever it needs to be for the situation. Right now we need Berlin to believe us."

"I don't know how you do that so easily," she confessed softly.

Jacob shrugged. "Years of practice. C'mon. He'll be pissed if we're late."

Liz didn't complain when he had to tape her wrists together and she didn't speak to him as they drove to the meet site. He almost believed that she was simmering in her anger, and if he could, Berlin was sure to.

They pulled up to a warehouse and were met at a gate. Motioned in, Jacob watched their surroundings carefully as he pulled into the structure, crushing the feeling of being trapped as the door closed behind them. He didn't risk looking at Liz as he stepped out of the car, hands raised, and glared at the man that came to take his weapon. "I thought I made it clear that if been through too much hell not to meet directly with Berlin."

The man searching him grunted as another pulled Liz out of the car. She immediately started fighting, landing a good hit and receiving one in return. Jacob did his best not to cringe. Their lives depended on this working.

A door opened at the far end of the large space and Berlin appeared. Jacob found himself staring at the woman at his side, though. Gina held her head high as they entered, but Berlin spoke. "I heard that you were dead. Your boss finally made good and sent a replacement to me. Even he seemed to think you were gone."

"When you get shot and disappear, it's a conclusion that people jump to," Jacob answered.

Berlin looked him up and down and then his gaze drifted over to Liz. "Keen did a number on you. I'm surprised you didn't return the favour."

"The job was to bring her to you. She's here."

"Yes she is," Berlin answered, something in his voice making Jacob uncomfortable.

Blue eyes caught brown and Jacob offered Gina the barest of nods. He hadn't expected her here on this, but she was there as insurance. If the situation went south for Berlin, she would help end it and, in one swift motion, return Bud to a favourable position with Reddington, but if Berlin looked to be winning, she would side with him. Bud was in a bad place and Gina was there to hedge his bets.

"Reddington doesn't have many weaknesses, but now I have two," Berlin said and Jacob stealed himself as the older man reached forward, playing with Liz's hair.

"You have a plan?" Gina asked very quietly, suddenly next to him.

"Yes. Bud still trust me?"

"Make it work," she said lowly.

"You have Keen," Jacob said, his voice pulling Berlin's attention to him. He could see what must have been government vehicles coming down the street. They'd tracked them there, and now he just needed to distract Berlin long enough.

"I do. And Reddington will know it."

The door opened again and a man dressed in black walked directly over to Berlin and spoke in his ear. They knew, and things were about to blow up in their face.

Berlin turned to Gina. "Take Keen out around back." Jacob started to move forward and found a gun trained on him. "Not you. I don't trust you."

Jacob raised his hands slowly. "I just handed you Keen," he bit out roughly.

"And then the FBI shows up?"

"They've been looking for you. Now they've found you. We all need to go before-"

"You know what I think? Phelps, isn't it? Isn't that your real name?" Jacob froze. There was no way in hell Bud would have released his real name to this nutcase, not even if he were ready to put a bullet between his eyes himself. He'd found it through some other channel, and that was unnerving. "I think that you got in too deep, Phelps. I think that you have feelings for our FBI friend here and they've gotten in the way of the job that I have paid you well to do. I think you led them right to us."

"That's stupid," Jacob answered tightly.

"What is stupid is you arguing when I'm ready to put a bullet in your head. There's no coming back from that."

"I did not double-cross you," he lied. "I brought her to you as soon as I could. That bitch has had me dropped down in a hell hole for the last month trying to kill me as slowly as she could! Trust me, that cured any attraction."

Berlin motioned and Gina took Liz by the arm and pulled her toward the door.

* * *

TBC

Notes: We're so close to Thursday. Sadly, I've heard that Jacob won't be in our first episode back, which makes me very sad, but I'm still excited to watch it :D

Next time - Trust is tried and found in unusal places.


	8. Part Eight

**Part Eight.**

This was not their best laid out plan. The FBI was on Berlin's doorstep, but she and Tom might not get out of it to see the win. Gina hated her, there was no question about that, and Berlin… Berlin was a loose cannon. Without warning, Liz started fighting just before they got to the door.

"Stop," Gina hissed in her ear. "You want to save him, you'll do exactly as I say."

Liz froze, her gaze flickering over to where Tom stood in the middle of the room, hands raised and Berlin's thugs were searching him quickly for a wire or a tracker. He was talking the whole time, giving Berlin reasons why he wouldn't double cross him. The words sounded true enough, and if she hadn't been right there with him through their escape the last few days, she might have believed them.

Berlin, it seemed, wasn't quite as trusting. "We don't have time for this," he announced as he turned to follow Liz and Gina. "Kill him."

"No," Liz breathed and Gina was dragging her out the door. Shouting followed them, the FBI breaking through, and gunshots followed immediately.

The Russian woman pulled her around, slamming her hard against the wall so that the FBI agent saw stars with the impact. She blinked hard, trying to clear her vision, and when it did she saw a knife out and was ready to fight back again. "Hold still," Gina instructed and cut through the tape. "This was risky, but if anyone could pull it off, Jacob could. Bill knows that. He also knows that Reddington is a better ally than Berlin."

"We need Berlin alive," Liz said quickly. "The FBI will-"

"Your FBI doesn't get a say," Gina cut her off and pulled a gun from its place. She took a step around and in front of her. Liz could only watch as the door opened again, her argument dying as Berlin looked around, ready to curse Gina as the traitor she obviously was, but the words never made it out of his mouth. She tilted her head a little, almost like she was disappointed in how easy it was.

"He knew where Red's wife was," Liz breathed.

"I know where Reddington's wife is," Gina assured her. "Come on."

Liz felt like she was being pulled through a dream as Gina dragged her along the hallway "Tom. Jacob. We need to go back for him."

"He'll get himself out. If you're going to work with him, you have to trust him."

She followed the blonde around, ducking out the other end of the hall and into the evening sun. Gina's gun came up immediately, as did Ressler's, and Liz threw her hands up. "Ressler, stop! Gina, he's with us."

The blonde woman frowned. "You first," she directed at Ressler.

Liz's partner looked at her, obviously uncomfortable with the idea, but slowly lowered his weapon. Gina followed in the same fashion and Liz loose the breath she didn't realize she's been holding.

"Where's Tom?" Liz asked, brushing past the other woman.

"I haven't seen him. You two were supposed to stick together."

"It didn't work out that way." She moved past him, ignoring the complaining looks that both people gave her and started in a sprint around the corner. They were already leading people out in cuffs, and as she got closer she could see Tom. They had released his identity to so few agents to cover the task force on the op that it was no wonder they were leading him away in cuffs. She waved to one of the agents that recognized her. "He's with me, guys."

Tom looked relieved. "Hey. Gina got you out."

"I'll admit, I had questions about it."

"Where is she?"

Liz glanced back. "I left she and Ressler back there."

The cuffs were undone and Tom rubbed his wrists. He looked exhausted, but not quite ready to fall over yet. "That may not be a great choice."

She shook her head and laughed. "Ress is a big boy. He'll be fine."

It was an impulsive move, and one Liz wasn't entirely sure that she consciously decided to make, but she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him. Tom met her there, crushing her to him almost desperately, and she felt him press a kiss against the side of her head, his hand stroking her hair. "Did they get Berlin?" he asked softly.

"Gina killed him. It's not ideal, but she said she knows where Red's wife is."

Tom pulled back as she spoke. "Dammit," he growled, and Liz barely had a chance to follow as he took off in the direction she had come from. "She'll offer her up to Red in exchange for setting things straight. She'll cut me out of the deal completely. That _bitch_!"

They rounded the corner to see Ressler speaking with several other agents and no sign of Gina. Liz put a hand on her husband's arm to slow him down as she stepped forward. "Ressler, where's Zanetakos?"

He looked over briefly to shoot her an exasperated look before turning back to what he was doing. She looked up at her husband who was steadier than she had expected after the burst. He shook his head. "Well, we knew it was a long shot for _everything_ to fall into place. At least Berlin's out of play."

"We'll work the deal with the FBI. Maybe you can give them information about Bud and they can-"

"No." The word was so short and sharp, Liz looked up. "I'm not going to betray Bud unless he forces my hand."

"So what then? You just retire? Will he even let you if you don't have leverage?"

Tom turned to look directly at her. "Do you want me to?"

Liz stopped, the question weighing on her. He could go and just disappear from her life. She could start again and focus on her work. He was giving her an out if she wanted it. She wasn't sure if she was doing it for her, for himself, or a little bit of both.

"I don't know what hoops you had to jump through for a deal, Liz, but-"

"Stop," she managed, her voice barely a whisper. "After all of this, do you want to just go?"

"I don't want to, but if you-"

She tipped up on her toes, the kiss silencing him. He leaned into it and it took everything Liz had in her to break it. "We make a pretty good team. We can figure out a way through this."

Tom nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

"You too," she answered with a smile.

"Keen," Ressler called, looking frustrated that he'd been left to coordinate the aftermath. "Martin's here."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tom promised.

She reached up, her hand pressed against the side of his face. "Yes you are. You need to go to the hospital."

"Little late for that," he chuckled.

"I know, but I want to make sure you're okay. Will you at least let one of the medics take a look at you? Please?"

She watched him turn it over. There were so many uncertainties with Gina being in the wind - something that was really her fault and not Ressler's. She never should have turned her back on the woman - but he wasn't well and he knew it. The medic might be able to take a look and release him, but she wasn't willing to ask him - or let him - put his health aside. This needed to be taken care of, and if they put him in the hospital, she would sit with him until they released him. She wouldn't let anyone near him that could hurt him.

Slowly he nodded. "Okay."

A smile perked her lips and she squeezed his hand. "Thank you."

* * *

They had sent him to the hospital for tests. It was the last thing Jacob wanted to do, but somehow he had lost the argument with his very determined wife. He wasn't sure exact what she and her partner had told their temporary boss, but he had met him briefly before leaving the scene when he and Ressler had come over for an official statement that Liz had said would be filed into the record to provide the clearance she had worked for him. Martin seemed very uncomfortable in the whole situation. He got the information from Jacob and told him not to go too far in case they needed more.

Liz had settled down in the chair next to his hospital bed after they got there with the determined look that told him she wasn't leaving and he wasn't sneaking out. Like any ER visit, Jacob assumed they were in for a wait. He had drifted off to sleep at some point, her hand loosely gripping his. Jacob woke to the sound of her voice sometime later and slowly blinked his eyes open to see her back to him.

Raymond Reddington stood there, speaking quietly with her, and Jacob seemed to gain his attention as he shifted in the bed. Liz turned with him and while Reddington looked mildly irritated, Liz's smile lit the room. "Hey," she greeted. "You feelings my better?"

"Yeah," he answered softly.

"Red just brought some good news."

Jacob shifted so that he was sitting up more and Reddington looked like he would have rather just delivered the information to Liz and left. He dug in his jacket pocket and held a slip of paper out. "Bill has made several reasonable requests, but a deal has been brokered to keep you alive."

The younger man took the slip of paper and squinted at it. "How?" he managed. Bud was letting him buy out his contract. That was unprecedented in the organisation. For all of his talk of Bud letting him walk, he hadn't thought of a scenario in which he really would.

"I promised Lizzy," Reddington stated as if that were an answer. "His instructions should be thorough."

"I just assumed, when Gina killed Berlin..." He wasn't sure if it was the medication or just the surprise that had him off his usual quick responses.

"Ms Zanetakos is one of Bill's more reasonable employees. We were able to come to an understanding."

Jacob shifted, folding the paper up tightly and looking over to his wife who was smiling like everything was falling perfectly into place. It had taken Reddington to make it happen, and while Jacob knew he shouldn't be put out over that, he couldn't seem to help it. The last person he wanted to owe anything to was Raymond Reddington.

Liz moved to the side of the bed and slipped her hand into his. He looked up at her and his jaw clenched. Reddington wasn't going anywhere, and it sounded like this was a sort of begrudging truce that the older man was presenting by providing Liz with what she had asked for. Jacob didn't trust him, but it looked like if he wanted to be in Liz's life, he had to learn to tolerate him.

His blue gaze shifted. "Thank you."

Reddington didn't look any happier about it. "This is for Elizabeth. The moment she tires of you, I have little interest in if you slink off to some other part of the world or find yourself buried in it."

Jacob snorted and Liz squeezed his fingers in warning. One glance up at her showed a pleading look being directed his way. She wanted them to be civil, if nothing else, and apparently this was as close to it as she had gotten Red. Finally, after a moment, his shoulders slumped and he tightened his grip on Liz's hand.

"Until then, I have assured Lizzy that I will refrain from killing you."

"Gosh thanks," he snarked and could resist rolling his eyes a little. He turned his attention back to Liz. "Hey, I need to get this taken care of and I can't do it from here. Any idea when they're going to release me?"

"When you're better."

"I'll feel better when this is taken care of."

She sighed and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Anything I can do for it?"

"Not yell at me when I walk out?" he asked with a small smile.

Liz rolled her eyes. "Compromise? I'll go find someone that knows what's going on and we can get an estimate."

He nodded and reluctantly let go of her hand do that she could go find a nurse. Reddington lingered, as if waiting for her exit. When he turned back to Jacob, the younger man huffed in irritation. "I remember the earlier threats. You don't have to repeat them."

Reddington frowned. "I'm aware."

"Then what?"

"She's been through enough, and she'll have more to face. Berlin isn't why I hired you, Tom."

Jacob blinked, the medication making his brain sluggish. "Why are you telling me now?"

"Because you seem to be here for a while, and if you are, you might as well make yourself useful. Elizabeth has a terrible habit of running headlong into danger."

"Yeah, I've noticed," the younger man answered softly and loosed a breath, eyes flickering over. He didn't trust Reddington, but Liz did, and he would try to respect that at least. "I'll protect her with my life, no matter what the threat."

A small, calculating smile perked Reddington's lips. "I hope you do." He turned without warning and was gone, leaving Jacob alone in the ER room.

* * *

TBC

Notes: Everything wraps up in the next chapter, which I hope to have posted before the show tomorrow! I'm uncontrollably excited for it :D

Also, I created a fandom twitter account. I've heard that TBL fandom is pretty active over there, so I thought I'd give it a try. You can find me at Takada_Saiko if you happen to have one. Drop me a line, say high. Right now it's pretty heavily Blacklist based because this show has really taken over my life lol

Next time: Jacob closes one chapter of his life to make room for the next to begin in earnest.


	9. Part Nine

**Part Nine.**

They had threatened to keep him there, but Jacob had refused. Liz, thankfully, seemed to understand that he was now working on a time crunch to get the funds pulled together in time for the meet with Bud. Time and place had also been detailed in the paper Reddington had left, and that was how Jacob found himself leaning against the wall of the alley, waiting. He had picked up a pack of cigarettes in the way there, but now that he had the time, he was lacking the desire.

"You look better."

A small smirk pulled at his lips and he turned. "Hey, Gina. Thanks for not selling me out."

"You'd have deserved it," she groused, pulling the pack from his fingers and taking one.

Jacob lit it for her. "Did Bud send you?"

"He's coming. Got tied up with some business and I figured you'd get jumpy." She offered him one of his own cigarettes and he shook his head.

"Keep it."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "She's done a number on you."

"Guess so," he answered softly, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets.

Bud rounded the corner, stuffing his cell in his pocket. "Just got confirmation of the funds," he said gruffly. He leveled a look on his former student that wasn't quite a glare. "You've done some dumb shit before, kid, but this one tops it. You're in over your head with her. You're smarter than this."

"Maybe not," Jacob answered with a shrug. "Are we good?"

The man that had raised him watched him carefully for a moment, studying him. "Payment's through. We're good."

Jacob felt a strange sort of tightness in his chest as the older man turned. "Bud?" he called before he could stop himself. "Thank you."

Bud snorted. "You paid me for it, kid. Handsomely."

"That's not... I meant for everything." This man had taken him from the streets and saved his life. Thanks had never been expected, much less required, but as Jacob was preparing to walk away forever, these were two people that he realized he would miss, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with that.

"You earned everything but this, kid."

Jacob stared, not certain how to respond, until Gina chuckled off to the side. "You're an idiot, Phelps. She'll destroy you. She'll drop you as soon as she realizes you really won't sell us our."

"She won't."

"Is that what love is? Blind faith that'll get you killed?" She offered him a smile before pulling him down, pressing her lips against his quickly. "Don't let her get you killed."

Jacob swallowed hard as he watched her walk away. He took a deep, unsteady breath, left alone in the alleyway.

* * *

It was strange to be back after being gone for over a month. She had cleared everything out of their old place, but hadn't sold it yet, so when they had needed a place to meet up after he settled his debts with Bud, Tom had mentioned their townhouse and Liz had just agreed. Now she stood there with her two bags of things she had brought with her when she had left. Everything else that hadn't been taken as evidence was in storage, tucked away so she hadn't had to look at it. So much had reminded her of Tom, which had hit on far too many levels of emotions during the past month.

Now she was waiting for him there. Funny how things worked out.

She was set to pick Hudson up from Aram, who had taken the dog to his apartment when Liz had dropped off the grid, sometime later that afternoon, but at that moment all she wanted to do was to get some sleep. It was better than sitting around and worrying about the meeting her husband was at, at any rate.

Liz found a couple of old quilts she had been telling herself that she would come back for and folded them up on the floor. She had thought that she would be asleep as soon as she laid down, but the townhouse was quiet and it was lonely. She found herself tossing and turning. It was too quiet and too lonely.

Somewhere in there she managed to doze, but her mind was running so fast that it was hardly rest. She startled out of a half dream at the sound of the door rattling and the knock that followed. She reached for her gun as she stood, inching towards the door, but her fingers loosened around it when she saw who was standing there.

Tom looked as exhausted as she felt when she tugged the door open. He moved forward and before he'd actually made it into the townhouse he had pulled her into a crushing hug. She returned it, all the conflicting emotions of the last week washing through her and they held onto each other there and the world might have stopped around them for all they knew.

"You okay?" she asked softly and he loosed his grip, his expression torn.

"I don't know," he answered, the words riding out on a breath. "That life is all I've ever known and..."

And it was gone. She nodded slowly, letting the understanding sink in before she spoke. Slowly she pressed a kiss to his lips. "Bud raised you, right? If you didn't feel anything at the break... I think that would be more of a reason to worry."

He tilted his head a little and Liz couldn't help but smile. Tom had always seemed so certain about how he felt, and he talked about every feeling openly and tried to get her to do the same. Now, she wondered just how much he'd kept inside because he couldn't express it without blowing his cover. Or, possibly, because he just didn't know how to process it. She took his hands in her own. "We're going to get through this," she promised and he seemed to relax a little.

"Just like we always do?" he whispered and her smile grew.

"Exactly. I meant it when I said I want to get to know Jacob."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I love you," he confessed softly and pulled back, not quite ready to release her hands as he looked around at their bare home. "Were you moving?"

Liz bit her lip. "Sort of. I hadn't put it on the market yet, but I couldn't stay."

"And now?"

She looked up and there was a strange sort of uncertainty in his eyes. "We'll figure it out. Right now, I need sleep and you look like you do too."

His lips perked up at the corners and he followed her over to the makeshift pallet and toed off his boots as she took a seat. Tom sank down next to her and flopped out on his back, looking at least a little more relaxed. Liz moved closer and leaned against his chest, feeling his arm wrap around her and she felt safe.

Tom sighed beneath her. "I made the right decision."

"Hmm?" Liz asked sleepily.

"Choosing you over Bud. I don't regret it. I've run my whole life, but... I'm done."

"Better be," she teased.

He huffed. "I'm serious. I never... cared about having a home before you, Liz. You're my home, no matter where that takes us."

Liz tightened her hold on him. "You're mine too," she whispered. "I love you."

"You too," he answered and Liz could hear that he was already drifting off. She had found out the hard way that she didn't sleep well without him, but even curled up on the hard, wooden floor she was more comfortable in his arms then she had been in some time now. There were still plenty of questions, but for the first time since finding the box beneath their floor, she thought she had a pretty good idea who this man was. Jacob or Tom, he loved her, and he was her home.

* * *

End.

Notes: Well, that is the end for this little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. I am uncontrollable excited for tonight's Blacklist episode! :D


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